Tuesday, May 27, 2008

10 more "proofs" for god

11. Argument from Creation, aka Argument from Personal Incredulity (I)
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

I see this one a lot. It boils down to: I'm too stupid to be wrong. Let's tear into it bit, shall we?

Step 1: it is implicitly claimed that evolution/creationism is a binary choice, one or the other, pick one, no other choices. Totally unproven. I have to admit, though, that I can't think of an alternative, but I'm also not so arrogant as to claim that just because I can't think of it, it doesn't exist.

Step 2: I could go into length, but PZ put it best: Ignorance is not evidence. I would add, "and neither is whatever makes you feel better."

12. Argument from Fear
(1) If there is no God then we're all going to not exist after we die.
(2) I'm afraid of that.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

You will notice that a lot of these "arguments" boil down to "I want.../I don't want..." In this case, it's, "I want to live forever/I don't want to die." So, here we go.

Step 1: So far in my life, I haven't noticed reality paying much attention to what I want to happen or not happen, or what I'm afraid might happen or not happen. I was afraid of tipping my truck over on that crappy dirt road, but that fear didn't make any discernable difference on what happened.

Step 2: So you're afraid of not existing. People are scared of a lot of things. I'm an arachnophobe, but you know, there are still spiders. Huh.

13. Argument from the Bible
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists.

Yes, this is just as lame as it looks. You could just as well say, "1. random newspaper article. 2. Second random newspaper article. 3. Therefore, God exists."

I'm afraid to look ahead, but I'd be money that we're going to see the ultimate circular logic claim somewhere ahead: "1: The bible is the word of god, so it's true. 2: How do I know? The bible says so. 3: Therefore, god exists." I'll break that one apart when we get to it.

14. Argument from Intelligence
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid Atheists — it's too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

Ah, there's the Christian humility I've come to expect from the humble, Christ-like Christian.

Step 1: I could just as easily say, "Look, you ignorant religious fool, you're too stupid to understand why there's no god. There is no god, no matter what stupid beliefs you may hold." I won't, though. I might think it really, really loudly, depending on who I'm talking to, because some people really are just that stupid. But you what's different? I'd try until I turned blue in the face/my fingers were bleeding stumps to explain it first, repeated, at length, over and over again, until I was forced to believe that the person I was talking to actually was that stupid.

I've also noticed that the people who claim to be that much smarter, usually aren't.

Step 2. your arrogance is proof that you're arrogant, nothing more, nothing less.

15. Argument from Unintelligence
(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys — you're obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth." John 3:16.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

Welcome to the grand American tradition that intelligence, actually thinking things through, is inferior to unsupported faith.

What does this one boil down to? God is real because I believe he is. Well, you know, I might believe I've got a million dollars in the bank, but if I did, it wouldn't change my bank balance.

16. Argument from Belief
(1) If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
(2) I believe in God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

You know what this one really is? It's the belief that I'm Special! Since I believe in God, he's real. You don't believe, but that doesn't mean anything, because you're not special, like me.

You're right, I'm not special. Never thought so, never will. Or, if you prefer, I'm a unique snowflake, just like you and everyone else in the world.

17. Argument from Intimidation
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.

An old favorite of the Catholic Church. Believe or die in the worst way we can think of, and we've got some really creative people.

If you have to use force, or the threat of force, your claim doesn't have much else to back it up.

18. Parental Argument
(1) My mommy and daddy told me that God exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

Two word answer: Santa Claus

19. Argument from Numbers
(1) Millions and millions of people believe in God.
(2) They can't all be wrong, can they?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

6.something billion people on the planet. About 2 billion people are Christians, over 4 billion are not. 4,000,000,000 non-Christians can't be wrong, can they? Therefore, there is no God.

20. Argument from Absurdity
(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

That makes no sense at all. At least the "argument" is aptly named. Hey, here's an answer: "1: Brussels Sprouts! 2: Therefore, there is no god."

No comments: